1. |
maebae later?
03:46
|
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|
these constant failures keep me awake at night
makes me wonder if i ever belonged here
in the first place, my inability to act
rationally compared to everyone
and i cant finish what i started but i'll need it later
and i cant finish what i started but i'd really like to
and i cant finish what i started but i'll need it later
maybe later?
i feel dumb i feel scared i feel like (such)
a letdown, i understood that my behaviour is
responsible for everything i fuck up and this
time id like to change that and change me
but ive never been motivated to do so
and thats why it's so difficult
|
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2. |
safety stegosaurus
03:22
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|
its always such a chore
to stop crushing
when nothing else sparks
your dressing sense, your interests
your prettiness accentuated by
eyelash extentions
its like im just asking to be letdown again
cause i'm just another fuccboi
wearing black skinny jeans and band tees
and i know that i get too attached
to pretty much anyone
i wish i wasnt just another bland idiot
listening to american football
constantly wondering when youll realise
that im not worth it?
soon enough you did, you found someone better
in every single way and i realised that i
shouldnt get this obsessed or stressed out over nothing
nothing because it doesnt matter anyway
we couldve been like jayz and queen b
we couldve been like ye and kim k
but i fucked up didnt i, couldnt i have been more interesting?
coudldnt i just get a hobby or something?
sometimes i wish i wasnt me
|
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3. |
failing
04:00
|
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|
teardrops running down my face
2 weeks in and numerous attempts of holding back
but unable to sustain, i broke down
as inapt to function as a stable human being
raindrops falling down the window pane
makes me question if there's a link between
my declining mental health and the unpleasant weather
something that must've caused this?
because humor wont distract me from
my reocurring depression anymore
is it time spent in college?
that seems unnecessary, as i am unworthy
these courses, ill-suited to my interests
accumulated with guilt from hesitation
to put in any effort
im frightened of what comes after
uncertain of what to do
id wish to find understanding
|
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4. |
diminished
01:46
|
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|
am i just overly concerned or am i just right?
as in i can not feel ur love
and if i am, is it my own fault?
i lay in my bed at 6 in the morning,
writing down these words on a dimmed phone screen
perplexed by how your scent is still stuck in my hair
pondering if persuing this is still worthwhile
но я не знаю
|
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5. |
whine merchant
03:09
|
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|
fade it out now
it all just seems like such a waste
fade it out now
and tie it all around my neck
and everyday i go to school
my spirit falls off a cliff
flat on its face
im not prepared enough tho
for anything else
hopefully ill be able to withstand the suffering
all caused by myself
and my negligence
but ill never know for certain
fade it out now
ill never know for certain
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6. |
outside
05:37
|
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|
in solitude i linger
i wonder if my friends still cherish me
as unavailable as they were in the past
i long for them now
i dont want to talk on the phone
i want to be outside
having real conversations
and be reminded of enjoyment
i know i can be a burden
the absolute worst
in me comes out every so often
its my lack of intellect
and emotional oversensitivity
the words i write
one sided and meaningless
unrelatable to anyone else
its all unintentional plagiarism
reminiscing of my fear of growing attached
and how it has converted into the fear of you
completely losing all interest in me
its my lack of intuition
i desire to depart
i cant keep up w the extremities of self doubt
|
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